A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the
mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Proverbs 15:1-2
I find it interesting that I got these verses in my email this morning after the night I had with my wife. Without giving too much information, our communication wasn't the best. I've noticed a lot recently how much our words can affect other people. I'm not sure how much of a struggle this is for other people, but I have to consciously think about almost everything that comes out of my mouth. When I don't think before I speak, I say things that are mean or hurtful and that's not the way I want to communicate with other people.
anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the
mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Proverbs 15:1-2
I find it interesting that I got these verses in my email this morning after the night I had with my wife. Without giving too much information, our communication wasn't the best. I've noticed a lot recently how much our words can affect other people. I'm not sure how much of a struggle this is for other people, but I have to consciously think about almost everything that comes out of my mouth. When I don't think before I speak, I say things that are mean or hurtful and that's not the way I want to communicate with other people.
After reading the verses above, I decided to look up "folly" on dictionary.com and here are the definitions it gives:
fol·ly
1. the state or quality of being foolish; lack of understanding or sense.
2. a foolish action, practice, idea, etc.; absurdity: the folly of performing without a rehearsal.
3. a costly and foolish undertaking; unwise investment or expenditure.
4. Architecture . a whimsical or extravagant structure built to serve as a conversation piece, lend interest to a view, commemorate a person or event, etc.: found especially in England in the 18th century.
5. follies, a theatrical revue.
I feel almost like the first 3 definitions are like a process that we go through as people.
The first definition says "the state or quality of being foolish" which to me could mean we're in a foolish/uncontrolled/non-thinking state of mind...were kind of just there in the moment and unprepared for REAL conversation with another person.
The second definition says, "a foolish action, practice..." then the example sentence says "the folly of performing without a rehearsal." That basically says to me...speaking without thinking about what you're saying or how your saying it. Imagine going to a play that had never been rehearsed or practiced...the actors would be all over the place and the dialogue/theme probably wouldn't make much sense to the audience.
The third definition says, "a costly and foolish undertaking; unwise investment or expenditure." To me that sounds like the result of someone not thinking before they speak. We don't think before we speak and we either say something stupid, insensitive, mean, or just simply sound hateful or not nice...and we hurt the feelings of our friends, spouses, co-workers, and we may never really mean to, but it happens.
So I've been thinking of ways to combat being the latter part of the Proverbs15:1-2 verses above...I don't want the "mouth of the fool gushes folly" part to describe me...I'm sure you don't either. I think we have to pray for God's help. I think we have to make smore of a concious effort to think before we speak. Ask ourselves where are words are coming from? Are we using words that are going to benefit the conversation we are in? Are our words going to build the person, or people, up we are conversing with, or are our words going to bring them down or belittle them or their points?
The following verses I think could be fresh reminders for those of us that struggle with communication...
2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
1 Corinthians 13:1
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I hope the above verses help and if you know of any more feel free to post them in the comments. I want to communicate well and in a loving way with everyone...especially my wife...so hopefully, with God's help and guidance, I'll be able to improve in this area! Let's start communicating better :)
--
God Bless
#3 stood out to me! a COSTLY and foolish undertaking...UNWISE investment or expenditure...yikes! I don't want to invest unwisely in foolish speaking...and I loved that is said the word "costly" because it IS...it STEALS FROM OUR RELATIONSHIP, OUR TRUST, OUR LOVE. Great blog babe...I love that you are/were fighting for our relationship...its so inspiring to me. You are such a mighty warrior :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome point...it "steals from our relationship" and thanks Babe...our relationship is so worth fighting for :D
DeleteThose same verses became very real to me this past weekend. I had to remind myself that a soft answer turns away wrath when I DIDN'T have a soft answer for someone. I was spoken to in a less than kind manner and I chose to "give as good as was sent". It ended up costing me much more than coming back at that someone was worth. I definitely appreciate the verses. They are definite reminders of just how important our spoken words really are. I choose to speak life!!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you like the verses...sadly we don't realize their importance or how they can be applicable in our lives sometimes until after we've been in a situation like the one you mentioned...we are all works in progress and we just have to keep seeking God and striving to be/do better!
Delete