Click here to view the original post on Ron Carpenter's site...
------------------------------
Relationship Builder: Takes More than 2 Halves to Make a Whole
The Bible says that when a woman gets married, she no longer has authority over her body, He does. Men, when you get married, you no longer have authority over your body, she does.
Marriage is not two-thirds and one-third hooking up to become a whole. Marriage is not a half and a half. In order for marriage to work, it takes two healthy wholes coming together to make one.
That’s why you need to manage the time of your singleness well. Get your emotions together, your life together, and your personal affairs together. Make sure you’re self-sustaining and self-sufficient whether or not the other person ever gets there. Then you will become a whole lot more attractive to the right person. Not to most people, but to the right one; and it’ll be easier to spot the right one too, because you’ll have God’s perspective.
Relationship Builder Action Step: Singles: Make a list of the areas in your life that if they were present in someone else, you’d be concerned with entering a relationship with that person. Then, develop a realistic action plan for each area to move them to healthy and attractive.
-----------------------------------------------
I really like the "action step" for this post...it is one I had to learn over time and am still working on now. I am thankful that God has given me someone in my fiance that I feel did work on these areas in her own life before we came together. Knowing who you are as a person and having your life "in order" will make combining your life with another person's go a lot smoother and help you both be happier with yourselves and with one another in the long run.
As long as we all keep seeking God and keep Him as the head of our individual lives and the focus of our marriages/friendships, He will bless our attempts and help us grow into the men and women He has called us be.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Do Not Give the Devil a Foothold...
This video gives an example of what could happen in our lives, and the lives of others we have relationships with, when we let Satan cling to an area of our life. This video more specifically deals with Ephesians 4:26-27:
26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.
Satan comes to dinner from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.
This video may seem a little dramatic, but I feel that it helps show how Satan makes fun of the turmoil he helps create in our lives. It is his mission to destroy our lives and the lives of our families and to put as many barriers between us and God as he can.
We should really try to settle any disputes with have with others, especially our spouses and family members, as quickly as possible! The longer an issue lingers, the more anger and resentment we will feel towards the other person. Don't let pride or selfishness get in the way of doing what God calls you to do...
26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.
Satan comes to dinner from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.
This video may seem a little dramatic, but I feel that it helps show how Satan makes fun of the turmoil he helps create in our lives. It is his mission to destroy our lives and the lives of our families and to put as many barriers between us and God as he can.
We should really try to settle any disputes with have with others, especially our spouses and family members, as quickly as possible! The longer an issue lingers, the more anger and resentment we will feel towards the other person. Don't let pride or selfishness get in the way of doing what God calls you to do...
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Why is Failure so Sexy? by Tim Stevens
I came across this post on Tim Stevens blog and thought it was very interesting...check out the original post here or read it below! Have a blessed day!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It seems like every week or so I hear about someone who failed–recovered–and then wrote a book about it. Perhaps their marriage failed. Or they went through a phase as an addict. Or they lost their family because of bad choices. And so they write a book because of the insights they gained along the way.
I understand why those books sell. As fallen humans, we identify with other people who talk about their failures in such stark terms. We figure the author has some insight into the human condition–and perhaps we can learn enough to keep ourselves from falling in the same hole. And I agree…we can definitely learn from such people. I recall more than 20 years ago when Gordon MacDonald went through his highly publicized fall–he later said something I’ll never forget: “An unguarded strength is a double weakness.” He was saying, “Pay attention! I screwed up in an area where I was strong. Don’t do the same.”
So, yes, those who have fallen and recovered to some level of health have a place to write books and give talks about the pitfalls that should be avoided.
But what about those who were faithful for a lifetime, who never had a public failure, who loved their spouse for decades, who led their family with integrity? Why don’t they write books? Probably because no one would buy them. The topic isn’t as sexy, is it? You aren’t going to hear much dirt or experience the highs and lows of a huge fall.
But I ask…
Who do you know that consistently made good choices? Seek them out and ask them questions. You might actually learn something.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It seems like every week or so I hear about someone who failed–recovered–and then wrote a book about it. Perhaps their marriage failed. Or they went through a phase as an addict. Or they lost their family because of bad choices. And so they write a book because of the insights they gained along the way.
I understand why those books sell. As fallen humans, we identify with other people who talk about their failures in such stark terms. We figure the author has some insight into the human condition–and perhaps we can learn enough to keep ourselves from falling in the same hole. And I agree…we can definitely learn from such people. I recall more than 20 years ago when Gordon MacDonald went through his highly publicized fall–he later said something I’ll never forget: “An unguarded strength is a double weakness.” He was saying, “Pay attention! I screwed up in an area where I was strong. Don’t do the same.”
So, yes, those who have fallen and recovered to some level of health have a place to write books and give talks about the pitfalls that should be avoided.
But what about those who were faithful for a lifetime, who never had a public failure, who loved their spouse for decades, who led their family with integrity? Why don’t they write books? Probably because no one would buy them. The topic isn’t as sexy, is it? You aren’t going to hear much dirt or experience the highs and lows of a huge fall.
But I ask…
- Would you rather get advice from the person who messed up and lost his marriage–or the man who has stood by his wife through ups and downs for 30 or 40 years?
- Would you rather get parenting advice from the author who tells you all the mistakes they made and how they regret that they traveled so much and didn’t spend time with their kids–or from the parent who was just there, day in and day out, loving on and listening to their kids?
- Would you rather get advice from the speaker who talks about all the bad things she did in her “wild youthful days” including illegal substances and lots of sexual partners–or from the boring girl who studied during college, got married as a virgin, and stayed connected to God and her family?
Who do you know that consistently made good choices? Seek them out and ask them questions. You might actually learn something.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Today's Marriages...
I heard this video on a podcast this morning and wanted to share...it is so sad that so many marriages are really being entered into with these thoughts in people's heads. The video is funny, but it really does make you think about today's marriages and why a lot of them are falling apart! Hope you enjoy!
What wedding vows would be if people were honest from NewSpring Church on Vimeo.
What wedding vows would be if people were honest from NewSpring Church on Vimeo.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
A Political Thought :: Perry Noble
Came across this post on Perry Noble's Blog and thought it was interesting...check it out...
--------------------------------------
A Political Thought August 16, 2010
I tweeted last week in regards to the fact that it seems to be ok in America to have a political opinion…unless you are a Christian, then ANYTHING you say in the political realm is simply you alligning yourself with a hate group and being intollerant.
It’s the perfect argument really…if you are a Christian then you cannot say anything political…OR people accuse you of being too political. (All the while it seems to be perfectly fine for any other group in the country to have a strong opinion…as long as they are not Christian.)
Please do not misunderstand me on this…I am NOT saying that the church should pimp a particular political party. I am not saying that unless you vote one particular way then God’s wrath will fall upon you. It do not believe our main message is political, but rather spiritual…the fact is that you could give everyone in our country health care, we could pass some sort of immigration reform AND find a way to pay off the national debt…and none of that will change the fact that people are spiritually lost, blind and dead without Jesus.
Some churches take the political thing WAY too far…and some pastors should run for office instead of working in the church because they talk about politics way more than they talk about Jesus.
BUT…on the flip side it is NOT wrong for a Christian to have a political opinion. In fact, I think if we are following Christ we should care about politics…we should vote…we should pray for our government officials and we should be willing to discuss our views in a gentle and respectful way with people who ask…
BUT…His church can NEVER allow politics to be our main message. because…
I’ve seen presidents Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush II and Obama all campaign…I watched all of them make promises, I wanted all of them talk about hope…and I watched every single one of them, at some point, go back on their word, let people down and fall into the political trap known as Washington DC.
And then there is Jesus…whose power rises so far above a political system. He is unchanging (Hebrews 13:8) and reigns over everyone and everything! He has never broken a promise…and when the political system of today is talked about in history books 500 years from now as an outdated idea…HE will still reign, HE will still be changing lives…and HE will STILL have never broken a promise.
So…have a political opinion (even if you are a Christian.) And VOTE (if you don’t vote then SHUT UP about how you feel about politics.) But let’s not EVER forget that Jesus died for us…HE should be our obsession…HE didn’t just want our vote but rather wanted to pay for our sins so we could be reconciled to God. HE, and not some political system, is our Savior.
I tweeted last week in regards to the fact that it seems to be ok in America to have a political opinion…unless you are a Christian, then ANYTHING you say in the political realm is simply you alligning yourself with a hate group and being intollerant.It’s the perfect argument really…if you are a Christian then you cannot say anything political…OR people accuse you of being too political. (All the while it seems to be perfectly fine for any other group in the country to have a strong opinion…as long as they are not Christian.)
Please do not misunderstand me on this…I am NOT saying that the church should pimp a particular political party. I am not saying that unless you vote one particular way then God’s wrath will fall upon you. I do not believe our main message is political, but rather spiritual…the fact is that you could give everyone in our country health care, we could pass some sort of immigration reform AND find a way to pay off the national debt…and none of that will change the fact that people are spiritually lost, blind and dead without Jesus.
Some churches take the political thing WAY too far…and some pastors should run for office instead of working in the church because they talk about politics way more than they talk about Jesus.
BUT…on the flip side it is NOT wrong for a Christian to have a political opinion. In fact, I think if we are following Christ we should care about politics…we should vote…we should pray for our government officials and we should be willing to discuss our views in a gentle and respectful way with people who ask…
BUT…His church can NEVER allow politics to be our main message. because…
I’ve seen presidents Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush II and Obama all campaign…I watched all of them make promises, I watched all of them talk about hope…and I watched every single one of them, at some point, go back on their word, let people down and fall into the political trap known as Washington DC.
And then there is Jesus…whose power rises so far above a political system. He is unchanging (Hebrews 13:8) and reigns over everyone and everything! He has never broken a promise…and when the political system of today is talked about in history books 500 years from now as an outdated idea…HE will still reign, HE will still be changing lives…and HE will STILL have never broken a promise.
So…have a political opinion (even if you are a Christian.) And VOTE (if you don’t vote then SHUT UP about how you feel about politics.) But let’s not EVER forget that Jesus died for us…HE should be our obsession…HE didn’t just want our vote but rather wanted to pay for our sins so we could be reconciled to God. HE, and not some political system, is our Savior.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Psalm 18:2-3
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.
Psalms 18:2-3
---------------------------------------
MY GOD IS MY ROCK!!! I love that! I like how the word "horn" here means "strength"! We get our strength from God! I also love in Verse 3 where it says "I call to the LORD...and I am saved"!!!! Lord help me remember these verses and let them sink into my mind and heart and give me strength to carry on!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Relationship Builder: Walls Don't Work by Ron Carpenter
Click Here to see original post on Ron's website!
----------------------------
I hear so much talk in relationship counseling circles about how people put up walls in relationships. I’ve even heard some people teach the importance of putting up walls in relationships. I certainly believe it’s important to have boundaries in your life, but when it comes to marriage, I firmly believe walls don’t work.
Building walls is nothing more than a defense mechanism where a violation has occurred.
The irony about walls is that they are put up to protect you, to keep an enemy out, but they keep you locked into your pain.
While you put up a defense to keep somebody else from hurting you the way you have been hurt in the past, you simultaneously wall off your life and restrict yourself from experiencing the life that God wants you to participate in.
Not allowing your partner to see they hurt you doesn’t stop them from hurting you. I can tell you nothing hurts me, I can say I don’t care, and I can tell you that it doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting, it doesn’t stop me from caring, and it doesn’t stop it from bothering me.
That wall is something that I present to you to try and convince myself that you can’t perpetrate that area anymore. I believe that marriages need to communicate truth. It’s the truth that sets you free, not walls—walls keep you from the truth, and you’ll never truly experience an intimate relationship if you refuse to be vulnerable.
Intimacy, by its very design, means that you are vulnerable. That’s why divorce hurts so much, because you get so much inside information concerning each other in a marriage, and everything you used to guard about each other is now being exposed for the sake of winning the kids, the house, the car, and the stuff.
Being vulnerable means sharing fears, fantasies, dreams, experiences, the good and the bad. That’s what creates intimacy in a marriage, the fact that I have knowledge that no one else possesses and the responsibility to protect that knowledge. I can trust you with this information, because I know you won’t use it against me; you can tell me you were abused or molested, you can tell me about the terrible treatment of your past relationships, and I will cover you where you’ve been hurt. Never publicly poke fun about something your partner revealed to you privately, because they’ll never tell you another thing.
-------------------------------------
----------------------------
I hear so much talk in relationship counseling circles about how people put up walls in relationships. I’ve even heard some people teach the importance of putting up walls in relationships. I certainly believe it’s important to have boundaries in your life, but when it comes to marriage, I firmly believe walls don’t work.
Building walls is nothing more than a defense mechanism where a violation has occurred.
The irony about walls is that they are put up to protect you, to keep an enemy out, but they keep you locked into your pain.
While you put up a defense to keep somebody else from hurting you the way you have been hurt in the past, you simultaneously wall off your life and restrict yourself from experiencing the life that God wants you to participate in.
Not allowing your partner to see they hurt you doesn’t stop them from hurting you. I can tell you nothing hurts me, I can say I don’t care, and I can tell you that it doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting, it doesn’t stop me from caring, and it doesn’t stop it from bothering me.
That wall is something that I present to you to try and convince myself that you can’t perpetrate that area anymore. I believe that marriages need to communicate truth. It’s the truth that sets you free, not walls—walls keep you from the truth, and you’ll never truly experience an intimate relationship if you refuse to be vulnerable.
Intimacy, by its very design, means that you are vulnerable. That’s why divorce hurts so much, because you get so much inside information concerning each other in a marriage, and everything you used to guard about each other is now being exposed for the sake of winning the kids, the house, the car, and the stuff.
Being vulnerable means sharing fears, fantasies, dreams, experiences, the good and the bad. That’s what creates intimacy in a marriage, the fact that I have knowledge that no one else possesses and the responsibility to protect that knowledge. I can trust you with this information, because I know you won’t use it against me; you can tell me you were abused or molested, you can tell me about the terrible treatment of your past relationships, and I will cover you where you’ve been hurt. Never publicly poke fun about something your partner revealed to you privately, because they’ll never tell you another thing.
-------------------------------------
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)