James 3:7-10

   All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the
   sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man
   can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly
   poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and
   with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.
   Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers,
   this should not be.

   James 3:7-10

How true are the verses above?  I say crazy true!  This is definitely an area of life that I struggle in.  Controlling my tongue...which for me mostly means being sarcastic.  In my case, I tend to come across as sounding mean, hateful, and/or insensitive.  Here are some definitions given for SARCASM on dictionary.com...

 

1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.

2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.

 

The World English Dictionary defines sarcasm like this...

1. mocking, contemptuous, or ironic language intended to convey scorn or insult.

 

The Word Origin goes on to say it comes from words with meanings like "to speak bitterly, sneer" and "to strip off the flesh"

 

That just sounds bad..."a taunt, cutting remark, scorn or insult, to speak bitterly" or how about the part that says "to strip off the flesh"...that makes sense for that to be a part of the origin of the world.  When we are sarcastic to people we are basically cutting away at them, tearing away at their flesh!  I don't want to do that to people!!!  

 

This issue has really been forced to the surface for me sense I've been married.  Unknowingly, I will say things that hurt my wife and I never realize I've hurt her or said anything bad until she tells me something I said and/or how I said it hurt her feelings.  That's never a good feeling, for me and especially not for her.  Sure I could blame some of my sarcastic skills on growing up with a sarcastic father, but does that make it ok for me to do it?  I say NAY!

 

I feel like guys typically deal with this issue more than women, but since we are called to lead and be Christ-like figures in our worlds, then we have to work to control our tongue!  I read something recently where the guy was talking about how he had an awesome "God moment" after going down to the altar at a church service and then hours later he found himself being a jerk to his wife...how often does this same thing happen in our lives? 

 

Moments like that show how much we really need God's help in this life.  Something that seems so simple, "watching what you say/speaking kindly to others" can be so difficult to actually do day-in and day-out. The verses below help me get a good idea of what my goals should be when I'm interacting with others...

 

Ephesians 4:29

Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)

 ²⁹ When you talk, don't say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you.

New International Version (NIV)

 

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

 

This has been a constant battle for me lately, WATCHING WHAT I SAY AND HOW I SAY IT!  I've been trying to focus and meditate on the verses above and praying that God will help me with the way I speak to others, especially my wife.  I feel like it basically comes down to thinking before I speak. Another 2012 motto moment...EASIER SAID THAN DONE! 

 

Do you struggle with being sarcastic?  What are some ways you can start encouraging people with the words you say instead of maybe cutting them down?